I was in disbelief! I just could not believe what I was hearing. Breast Cancer had never occurred in my family and I was a fit woman who had just turned 50. I didn’t smoke, had a very healthy diet, drank some wine, and worked out on a daily basis. I was healthy and breast cancer got me!!!
My husband Michael was also in disbelief and at this time I felt very alone and in total denial. I now look back on this and talk about it with other women, some of whom were also in denial at the time and others who were very open about it.
I visited my surgeon Rachel who was a real sweetheart. Michael and I sat with her and she gave me options. One was to have a lumpectomy which would remove the cancer and alot of the surrounding tissue which would leave me with quite a large “hole” in my breast OR I could have a mastectomy and have the entire breast removed and then have reconstruction down the road. We decided on the mastectomy. She said she would get it booked and give me a call in the following 2 weeks. We went home and she called the next day for my surgery to be performed in 2 days!! WHOA, I was in shock – kind of like a zombie. But, I was ready to be rid of this lump!!
The surgery was over and done with really fast and I recall waking up and opening my gown. And, actually I was NOT shocked at what I saw…I was relieved and it felt good! My son Christopher and Michael came in and I showed them my “breastless” left chest – they both smiled with tears in their eyes.
It all began back in 2001, when one day while in the shower, I felt a small lump in my left breast. I thought nothing of it as I normally had small lumps or as I called them my “chunky boobs” at that time of the month. Well, this little sucker of a lump did not go away like the other ones did and it was somewhat hard feeling. I had been having my regular annual mammograms every October or November, so when I went to see my doctor about the lump, he said there was nothing to worry about and then he said “women are so obsessed with their breasts!!”
So, the following month which was November, I had my mammogram and I was nervous because of the lump. Two days later my doctor called me into his office to review my mammogram. Now I was a WRECK!!! He explained to me that my left breast showed an irregularity and so he wanted to followup with another mammo, but said “nothing to worry about”. I had the second mammogram in January and again I was called in to review it and it too showed “something”. So now he recommended an ultrasound which was performed in February and it showed “something”.
At that point I knew or my gut knew this was serious. A biopsy was performed which I was certainly not prepared for. All I remember about it was it sounded like a gun going off into my left breast and I was left bruised and hurting. A few days went by and then I received THAT phonecall to come in to see my doctor. “You have Breast Cancer” he said.
Waiting 7-10 days for a vacation, a new car, new furniture, an upcoming special celebration day is a piece of cake. Waiting for biopsy results……..PURE TORTURE. Fifteen years ago, I was in the same spot that Jeannie is in right now.
Oh, how I remember waiting those long days and longer nights for my results. My results were not good news. Stage II aggressive breast cancer.
Yes I am a breast cancer survivor and I’m also Jeannie’s sister in law. Jeannie, you have a huge circle of family and friends that are here to support you and wish you the best results next week.
It’s hard to believe it’s been fifteen years for me. I am thankful that I am here today to help blog with Jeannie and share our emotions with others that may be going through a similar experience. Everyone is different and each cancer is different.
I unlike Jeannie, wanted to be alone for my biopsy and I wanted to be alone when I got the news. People may not agree with my decision, but you need to respect that persons decision and do not judge.
Five years ago I was told I had cancer again. This time it was Stage III Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Yes, I am a TWO TIME cancer survivor. I want to share with you a feel good story.
This past May, a good friend of mine who I also work with told me she had a rare stomach tumour. I hugged her tightly and whispered in her ear ”F’k Cancer” and she whispered back in my ear “Carole, you are my hero”.
I was taken by surprise by her comment but, I now know what she meant. We had a good cry and I told Lisa that I knew all about those crazy thoughts that were going through her head and that it was perfectly normal.
Few of us at work during the summer would hang out with Lisa enjoying the hot summer sun and a few cocktails along with a lot of laughs. Lisa had a long wait for various tests etc. etc. Surgery finally took place in July and Lisa was sent home to heal and then the WAITING BEGAN. I am happy to report that Lisa is one of few people who gets to hear this from a surgeon…”Lisa, your tumour was cancer, we got it all and you’re done, no treatments”.
It does and it can happen, news like this. Lisa told me one day that she felt guilty for getting such good news when I had been through hell twice and one of our other co-workers was fighting oesophagus cancer.
Good news or bad news, we just want to know, then move forward.
Yesterday was probably one of the most stressful days in my life, and I have had a few!
I really didn’t want anyone to come to the Waterloo Wellington Region Breast Clinic with me and sit around all day. By the time I had driven into the parking lot the panic had set in and I wanted to turn the car around and go home. The check-in process; the waiting room full of women, all accompanied by their husbands; changing into the beautiful tie down the front hospital gown all added to the panic. And I am not a person who panics easily! Another lesson learned…Do not go to a Breast Biopsy on your own!
It was determined that I should have an ultrasound and the technician couldn’t find the mass. I came pretty close to screaming, “It is there. The Radiologist at St. Mary’s saw it, my Family Physician felt it. Bloody well, FIND THE THING!” But, of course, I didn’t. Crazy Woman! When she did find it, I was almost glad!
I was told to get dressed, go and relax, and come back at one o’clock. I do learn my lessons, and I sent a message immediately to Chaundra, my daughter, “Going back at one, come with me.”
Did a bit of Retail Therapy for a couple of hours…I am going to go bankrupt if this keeps up for much longer…and then stopped at Williams for a late breakfast. Funny, I am such a social person, but this morning I needed to be myself.
Well, not only Chaundra but Bob came back to the Clinic with me. I think they were both just waiting for me to smarten up. They probably know me better than I know myself.
We were called in with the Surgeon for a consult after about an hour. He took down my family history, yes we have history of cancer in our family. Questions like, when did I start my periods…who the hell remembers that! Sorry, just trying to make light here.
The long and short of it was that both radiologists had made comments about the mass. One had called it worrisome (my definition, it is probably full of cancer) and the other said it was suspicious (my definition, it is probably full of cancer).
The good news was that it was still SMALL! I loved hearing that word. I would have a biopsy that afternoon, but unfortunately, the pathology results wouldn’t be available for about a week. I asked about the worst case scenario and he “feels” that if it is cancer (ugh, that “C” word) the lump would be removed and some lymph nodes and because it is SMALL I would “probably” only need Radiation and no chemotherapy. Can’t believe I was feeling good at hearing I would need Radiation, almost like I was glad to be going to the Biopsy finally.
Now this is how nutty I am…I actually asked Chaundra to come into take pictures of the biopsy so I could post it here…well, I wanted to see what I was going to face before it happened. They wouldn’t let her come. I said I was only kidding. She looked at me and said, No you weren’t! They know me too well.
More to come about the biopsy later…will try and make it as humourous as a biopsy can be. Please if you would like to share your stories let me know. The purpose of this is to help other women on this journey.
I have been going to the gym on a regular basis. I am like a woman driven and to be honest, it is a way of keeping my mind off of what is going on, with the added benefit of getting in shape. I also hate my breast. I stand on the eliptical trainer wanting to pull the breast off and the lump out. Crazy woman!!
I didn’t feel pain before, but now I lie in bed at night and it is itching, it is hot, it is painful. Is it my imagination or am I really feeling these things.
Well I do digress, more on what has been going on this month.
October 1st, we were celebrating my in-laws 65th Wedding Anniversary. I went to my hairdresser with Chaundra and the girls first thing in the morning to help her out. While I was there I explained to Joe (yes he does my hair at Teknik) what was happening and why I wouldn’t be in for my NEEDED hair cut and colour until I knew what was happening. In my mind I already was having my hair shaved off!! Oh yes, and of course having permanent eyebrows stenciled on…must look good when you are bald you know!
Again, I found the Anniversary Party difficult to try and put on a smiling face and pretend that there was nothing on my mind. Of course, the last thing I would want to do was to spoil my in-laws celebration. There was also one other very important person to consider, my son Ryan. I didn’t want to burden him with the news until I knew for sure what I was facing, but when I saw him I knew that he deserved to know. Another lesson, don’t keep secrets. You will be surprised what others can handle.
That night the most difficult thing that I had to handle was that two very special people didn’t come to the party. Yet, in hindsight, I wonder if I could have kept as strong if they had arrived? In fact, even writing this I come as close to tears as I have since this happened.
During the next few weeks I actually found that I was isolating myself from friends. I was still actively going to the gym but I was almost hiding from everyone. Again, didn’t want to cry.
I did have a good friend, Anna, drive from Brighton to visit me and again, made me realize how fortunate I was to have good friends and that you needed to share.
News that someone I admired greatly had passed away from Breast Cancer after a valiant effort probably brought me the closest I have been to tears. I found that I was fighting back the emotions at the Funeral Home. Watching her friends and family and knowing what they had been through was difficult.
I had breakfast with Marty Green, one that we had been trying to have for a few weeks and I think it was then that I got big awakening. Marty knows me as a very positive person and when he listened to how I was reacting he just told me to listen to what I was saying. I had mentally prepared myself for being bald, even talking to my hairdresser about shaving my head; planning my treatments and who knows what else. Marty, just encouraged me to start my blog, and quit thinking negative thoughts. Start thinking positively, listen to positive affirmations and taking one day at a time. Yep, these are lessons that I am usually preaching! Marty, I can’t thank you enough because again, another big turning point!
So as I wait for what happens on October 19th, I will keep updating you on what it feels like the next few hours.
I still don’t know what I am going to be facing but at least I will be partially there.
By the way, thanks everyone for the prayers and wishes!
Read a blog by Seth Goodin the other day and he compared moving your finger around a glass until it starts to sing with what marketers seek, innovation. Looking for things that vibrate and resonate and those that don’t.
As Realtors, it is important that we must start by working on our Business Plan, . It amazes me how many don’t have one and fly by the “seat of their pants”. Without a business plan, it is virtually impossible to work on a Marketing Plan. Instead of throwing everything at the wall and hoping that something sticks, start now by getting a business plan togethe. Once you have the Business Plan together and you know where you are going, prepare the Marketing Plan that will help you to achieve your goals.
Don’t forget the next important step to keep evaluating the effectiveness of your plans and if you are on track. Why keep spending money on something that is not bringing the desired results? It might be just a case of having to know the right speed and right place to make it sing!
Make sure that you are making the glass sing and not breaking it!
Being a Realtor is a very challenging and exciting profession. I don’t always feel that the public, and definitely the media, fully understand what the Professional Realtor brings to the table when working with a Seller or Buyer.
As in any profession there are the great Realtors, the good Realtors and the ones that, well let’s say, it would be better for all of us if they chose another profession.During the past few months, much has been written by both Realtors and the Media about the CREA – Competition Bureau Agreement. I have read with interest both sides of the argument. I believe fully in the value of using a Realtor but I was having difficulty putting it into words. [Read more →]
Being a Realtor is a very challenging and exciting profession. I don’t always feel that the public, and definitely the media, fully understand what the Professional Realtor brings to the table when working with a Seller or Buyer.
As in any profession there are the great Realtors, the good Realtors and the ones that, well let’s say, it would be better for all of us if they chose another profession.During the past few months, much has been written by both Realtors and the Media about the CREA – Competition Bureau Agreement. I have read with interest both sides of the argument. I believe fully in the value of using a Realtor but I was having difficulty putting it into words. [Read more →]
Being a Realtor is a very challenging and exciting profession. I don’t always feel that the public, and definitely the media, fully understand what the Professional Realtor brings to the table when working with a Seller or Buyer.
As in any profession there are the great Realtors, the good Realtors and the ones that, well let’s say, it would be better for all of us if they chose another profession.During the past few months, much has been written by both Realtors and the Media about the CREA – Competition Bureau Agreement. I have read with interest both sides of the argument. I believe fully in the value of using a Realtor but I was having difficulty putting it into words. (more…)
I was going through some of my books the other day and pulled out one I had not read in a few years, Golf Is Not a Game of Perfect, written by Dr. Bob Rotella.
Dr. Rotella is a performance consultant who has worked with many professional clients, most who refer to him as “Doc’. Dr. Rotella helps his clients to create an attitude and a mindset about all aspects of a golfer’s game, from mental preparation to competition.
What does that have to do with selling Real Estate…Everything!
Let`s examine some of the maxims laid out in the book.
1) On the first tee, a golfer must expect only two things of himself: to have fun, and to focus his mind properly on every shot.
As a Realtor, I firmly believe that , before we start working with a client, we must be prepared to have fun as well. Enjoy the journey and ensure that you are focused and prepared.
2) Golfers must learn to love the challenge when they hit a ball into the rough, trees, or sand. The alternatives-anger, fear, whining, and cheating -do no good.
I love Real Estate for the variety, the opportunity to be learning everyday and meeting new people. Sometimes we hit snags or obstacles but we must learn to deal with the challenges and learn from them.
3) Confidence is crucial to good golf. Confidence is simply the aggregate of the throughts you have about yourself.
Similliarly, when selling Real Estate, or any sales for that matter, it is important to be confident about yourself, your knowledge and your work.
In the introduction of the book he states“Sport psychology, as I teach it, is about learning to think in the most effective and efficient way possible every day. It`s the psychology of excellence……..golfers, must understand the power within themselves. They must learn to tap this power and let it flow into their golf game.
As professionals in any field, including Sales, we need to all understand the psychology of excellence and let it flow.
Yesterday was probably one of the most stressful days in my life, and I have had a few!
